God,

help me.

I've had Lyme Disease for 2 years.

Yeah, it sucks. I leave early from school everyday so I can go home because my headaches get worse. Sometimes, I go to the nurse and lay down and my classmates yell at me because I'm "skipping." I only wish I was skipping. I get headaches every single day. I take aout 10 different medicines that aren't even helping. I had an IV in my arm for 7 weeks last year. I wasn't able to swim, do sports,let alone take a normal shower. I've been to neurologists, nateropaths, bio feedback, infectious disease doctors, therapists, pain management groups, and regualr pediatricians. So far? No luck. It will have been two years, next month. I am fed up with this. The end of June, they are sending me to some doctor in Boston. I have my hopes up for this. It's been planned for 4 months.

make me a sandwich.

no, how about you make ME a sandwich.

thats not trashy,

that is what i call GRADE A CLASS.

i realized:

all someone needs is a friend.

trusting some people isn't the best decision.

jealousy gets you no where.

faith is sometimes all you have to hold on to.

everything happens for a reason.

telling someone that everything is going to be okay, can really make everything okay.

i bribed someone with gum to stop doing something.

some people pack heat like no other.

family is always there for you.

last name ever, first name greatest

like a sprained ankle,
i ain't nothing to play with.

best fraaaands.

I used to have a best friend.
Maybe even two or three.
But I'm not so sure I have one anymore.

summer.

it's starting to feel a whole lot like summer.
and i'm loving every minute of it.

the current temperature at my house? 94 beautiful degrees.

How are all things connected?

That was a question on my classwork fom language arts class. And my answer? Jesus.
One of my classmates saw what I wrote and literally FLIPPED OUT on me. His words: "There is no 'jesus' or 'god' o anything like that. I asked him how he knew and he said that it was impossible and a stupid idea that there even was one. The substitute for class told him that he should keep his religious veiws to himself it he was going to get into an arguement over them.

There is a God, and it is definately not stupid to believe in him.

my mema.

I feel like it was yesterday:

December 29, 2007. Swim practice ended at 12:00, but I got out a little early. I was outside waiting for my dad and my brother to come pick me up. We were going to go to Danbury Hospital to see my grandma. She hadn't been feeling well, so she was admitted to the hospital the week before (December 21st, 2007). We were going down Old Zoar Road and my dad's cell phone rings. Ian picks it up and it's my mom. He hands the phone to my dad. The car comes to a stop right in the middle of the road. He hung up soon after. His next words? "Mom just told me that Mema has just passed away.." We turned around and drove up our road and into my garage and walked inside and no one said a word. And then I turned around and burst into tears. My brother did the same and threw his arms around me. My dad did the same. We all started crying. That whole next few monts, she was all I would think about. I know that my Meme is in heaven now, I just miss her a whole lot. I may not have been the most kind granddaugher all the time, but I know I appreciated her very much. My mema wasn't just that kind of grandmother who lived in some other state that occasionally calls you on Christmas or Birthday's and sends a card now and then. She had been living with us for 5 years and we had grown closer each and every day. Losing her hit me hard. i regret anything bad I had ever said to her. I miss her more and more each and every day, but I know I will see her again.

stop the madness.

“Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier.
Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter.
All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.”

Yeah, it's true. Just think about when people bully other people. "You're so fat and ugly!" By saying that, does that make you any better looking than what you were before. No. So when people bully others, or make fun of others, it really bothers me. I may "make fun" of someone as a joke, but they know I'm kidding because I'm just not that type of person. We all see bullying everyday, no matter where we are. And half the time, we do absolutely nothing about it.

There's the do-ers. The people who bully.
and then there's the by-standers. The people who watch the bullying.

Either way, bullying doesn't make you a better person; whether you're doing it or not.

faith.

FAITH: –noun
1.confidence or trust in a person or thing
2.belief that is not based on proof
3.belief in god or in the doctrines or teachings of religion
4.belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc.
5.a system of religious belief
6.the obligation of loyalty or fidelity to a person, promise, engagement, etc.
7.the observance of this obligation; fidelity to one's promise, oath, allegiance, etc.
8.Christian Theology. the trust in God and in His promises as made through Christ and the Scriptures by which humans are justified or saved.

the cousins.

even though my family doesn't always agree on things, we love each other.

my grandmother says inspirational things.

"Sometimes you come across mountains,
But you always have the strength to move them.."

hey there blog #23

“To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To hope is to risk pain.
To try is to risk failure.
But risk must be taken
because the greatest hazard in life
is to risk nothing at all.”

cool.

yeah, it's totaly cool that you are a hypocrite. i mean really, like it's great.

DOUBLE S G.

sometimes, i hate swim practice.
but sometimes, sexy steve is there.

and then going is worth my time.

oh, how i love...

music that relates to my life.
singing with my eyes closed.
sleepovers with friends.
inspiring aquaintences.
youth group retreats.
cute older couples.
learning about god.
family gatherings.
long walks.

you.

Well that's some useful knowledge..

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

Humility

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself; but it is thinking of youself less."

budget cuts suck.

I can't remember the last time the budget in Monroe has ever passed on the first try, or even the second. But I guess this time, the third time's the charm.

Even though it finally did pass, they're still laying off faculty in te school systems that clearly shouldn't have to get laid off. For example: Lee. Lee is a custodian at Masuk and just found out 2 weeks ago that he is getting laid off at the end of this school year. Once he gets laid off, he won't have a job. And even worse, no healthcare for his young daughter.I've sent emails to the superintendent but she says it's not up to her. She didn't even answer the questions that I asked her. Thanks?

Lee is probably the hardest working custodian there. I really don't understand why they are going to fire him, and keep some of the other faculty tat clearly don't belong working in the school system.

i love the beach.

sup friends.

I have some great friends. Whether they are listening to me vent or whether I am helping them sort through their thoughts, we are there for each other. So far in highschool, I've gained friends, lost friends, and stayed friends.

I've learned that friends can be snooping behind your back with someone close to you.
I've learned that friends can be there for you though the toughest of times.
I've learned that some friends can be trusted to an extent.
I've learned that some of your best friends can be a sibling.
I've learned that a true friend doesn't lie about something big right to your face.

I've learned that you could trust people with your life; and others? with nothing.

hey.

I need to blog more. I've got wayyyyy too many things to keep bottled up in my head.

Ghettofabulizing..

Yes, I can say that we did...

invite Katherine, Emily, Sam, Amelia, SPencer, Nick, and Evan over to watch a movie.
not watch a movie.
spend an hour on chatroulette with some good looking guys from England.
have nine people go to Dunkin Donuts at 10:00 at nightjust do Ian could get a donut.
have some ghettofabulizing of cars.
see the power go out in a section of monroe along 111.
have wall posts about D+'s..ahaha.


Yes, I can say that my saturday night was quite productive.